this is vulnerable, thats nothing new. being vulnerable doesn’t ever get easier, though. my human experience right now is hard to put into words. i feel like ive lived this certain reality up until now with this certain perspective on how things are and how my family is and what kind of people they are and what kind of person i am and my place in the world and what safety means and what it looks like. and then july happened. and suddenly im FEELING EVERYTHING. but not in like a, “oh im having a bad day” kind of way. no no no no… this was like as if someone pressed rewind on all of my repressed traumatic memories and turned it on loud and locked me in a room with them. and fuck you universe, for making sure my therapist retired the month prior. perrrrrrfect. awesome. great. amazing.
and someone came into my life in such a specifically helpful way that although right now my faith in the universe is being tested, i dont think i can call that a coincidence. this human isn’t even in my life anymore. i believe the universe gives us people who have a specific divinely guided reason to show up and once they serve their purpose, we both move on. that is what seems to have happened here. gratitude to this human and to myself for staying the course of shadow work….
